Comments on: Rude In-Laws http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/ Mom, Freelance Writer, Blogger, Virtual Assistant, and everything else inbetween! Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:07:18 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: gabby http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/comment-page-1/#comment-22456 gabby Wed, 01 Jul 2009 18:57:14 +0000 http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/#comment-22456 lol lol

]]> By: dilema http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/comment-page-1/#comment-13280 dilema Wed, 31 Dec 2008 22:55:22 +0000 http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/#comment-13280 I'm not sure what to do. My husband and I were recently married. My in laws have been very manipulative since the day my husband and I announced our engagement. They were absolutely awful during the week of our wedding! They canceled the rehearsal dinner and talked trash about my family while my family hosted a reception for out of town guests. They barely spoke to me during the wedding and when they did, my FIL told me "You have (hubby) call his mother." I said, I have been trying to get him to call his mother. He said "You just have him call his mother once a week!" Then his mother said, "Welcome to the family, have a nice life." I have tried to put this in the past. I wrote a letter to my MIL and told her that I hoped that we could overcome whatever happened at the wedding and that she would forgive me if I did anything to upset her. I was trying to be nice to her and start off our marriage on the right foot. She said there was nothing to forgive. Recently, I have been getting along with the in-laws pretty well. However, there are two things that are really bothering me. A) they are VERY rude to my parents. They will walk right past them without saying "hello" or anything! They pretend that they aren't there! B) they have been trying to manipulate my husband to stay in the Navy when we've decided to get out. We have told them this repeatedly, but they just keep saying that he should stay in the Navy. They also get other friends and family members to call my husband and lecture him about staying in the Navy. I know that I can't talk to his parents about the career change (although I really want to tell them to stop interfering), but I think that I need to tell them that their rudeness to my parents is unacceptable. They only thing is...I don't know how to do this civilly. I don't want to start WWIII. I merely want them to stop acting so rudely to my family! My parents have tried to branch out to the in-laws. But...they continue to be rude. It hurts my family that they are being rude...and...it makes me very upset whenever I hear of the mistreatment. What should I do? Also, I should mention that I am currently thousands of miles away from them. So...having a face to face conversation is out of the question right now. I’m not sure what to do. My husband and I were recently married. My in laws have been very manipulative since the day my husband and I announced our engagement. They were absolutely awful during the week of our wedding! They canceled the rehearsal dinner and talked trash about my family while my family hosted a reception for out of town guests. They barely spoke to me during the wedding and when they did, my FIL told me “You have (hubby) call his mother.” I said, I have been trying to get him to call his mother. He said “You just have him call his mother once a week!” Then his mother said, “Welcome to the family, have a nice life.” I have tried to put this in the past. I wrote a letter to my MIL and told her that I hoped that we could overcome whatever happened at the wedding and that she would forgive me if I did anything to upset her. I was trying to be nice to her and start off our marriage on the right foot. She said there was nothing to forgive. Recently, I have been getting along with the in-laws pretty well. However, there are two things that are really bothering me. A) they are VERY rude to my parents. They will walk right past them without saying “hello” or anything! They pretend that they aren’t there! B) they have been trying to manipulate my husband to stay in the Navy when we’ve decided to get out. We have told them this repeatedly, but they just keep saying that he should stay in the Navy. They also get other friends and family members to call my husband and lecture him about staying in the Navy. I know that I can’t talk to his parents about the career change (although I really want to tell them to stop interfering), but I think that I need to tell them that their rudeness to my parents is unacceptable. They only thing is…I don’t know how to do this civilly. I don’t want to start WWIII. I merely want them to stop acting so rudely to my family! My parents have tried to branch out to the in-laws. But…they continue to be rude. It hurts my family that they are being rude…and…it makes me very upset whenever I hear of the mistreatment. What should I do? Also, I should mention that I am currently thousands of miles away from them. So…having a face to face conversation is out of the question right now.

]]> By: mel http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/comment-page-1/#comment-13170 mel Sun, 28 Dec 2008 03:46:41 +0000 http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/#comment-13170 my husbands grandmother is not only rude, she is inconsiderate and disrespectful. I have always treated her with respect, I do with everyone. She finds it necessary to speak negatively to other family members about me. She was extremely upset that I will not allow my BIL over to my home, he is extremely inappropriate with me. Most of the family will not allow him in their homes either. His grandmother seems to believe that this is acceptable for them but not for me. Husband and I have been married for 15 years. I believe that I have tried to be accomodating and respectful long enough. His grandmother has causeed many arguments between the two of us. She interrupts our plans, she also expects us to drop what we are doing to come running to her home when she wants something. If we do not, she will get upset, hang up on us, cry and and really she pouts. I could understand if this was due to her age, but it is not. She has been this way her whole life. The problem is that my husband insists that I accompany him to her home at least once and week and for holidays. I would really perfer to limit my encounters with her. When I attempt to speak to my husband regarding this he is offended. How do I make my husband understand this without it ending in us becoming angry with one another? my husbands grandmother is not only rude, she is inconsiderate and disrespectful. I have always treated her with respect, I do with everyone. She finds it necessary to speak negatively to other family members about me. She was extremely upset that I will not allow my BIL over to my home, he is extremely inappropriate with me. Most of the family will not allow him in their homes either. His grandmother seems to believe that this is acceptable for them but not for me. Husband and I have been married for 15 years. I believe that I have tried to be accomodating and respectful long enough. His grandmother has causeed many arguments between the two of us. She interrupts our plans, she also expects us to drop what we are doing to come running to her home when she wants something. If we do not, she will get upset, hang up on us, cry and and really she pouts. I could understand if this was due to her age, but it is not. She has been this way her whole life.
The problem is that my husband insists that I accompany him to her home at least once and week and for holidays. I would really perfer to limit my encounters with her. When I attempt to speak to my husband regarding this he is offended. How do I make my husband understand this without it ending in us becoming angry with one another?

]]> By: Rania http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/comment-page-1/#comment-6809 Rania Mon, 21 Apr 2008 06:39:41 +0000 http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/#comment-6809 Please i need help!!! i been dating my boyfriend for the past 2 years. in the beggining everything was ok with his parents. but lately they hate me so much.if they see me somewhere they would turn their faceses around as if they did not even see me. and the problem got bigger when i got pregnant he talked to his parents and his parents told him if he even thinks about marrying me that they will never talk to him and consider him as their son. and also his dad called me and told me to stop my game and get rid of it. he is scared to lose his family and im scared to lose my child. please help me!!! i can not talk to any of my freinds or family about this. <i>You need to talk to your boyfriend about this. Only the two of you can decide what should be done. I'm also thinking that maybe he could ask why they feel how they do about you? Their must be something that would make them go from okay to not liking you. See if maybe they heard something somewhere that is causing them to react this way? Worse case scenario, you can always walk away from it. You don't need the stress while your pregnant and if your boyfriend can't get them to back down, is it really something you want to stick around and have to deal with?</i> Please i need help!!! i been dating my boyfriend for the past 2 years. in the beggining everything was ok with his parents. but lately they hate me so much.if they see me somewhere they would turn their faceses around as if they did not even see me. and the problem got bigger when i got pregnant he talked to his parents and his parents told him if he even thinks about marrying me that they will never talk to him and consider him as their son. and also his dad called me and told me to stop my game and get rid of it. he is scared to lose his family and im scared to lose my child. please help me!!! i can not talk to any of my freinds or family about this.

You need to talk to your boyfriend about this. Only the two of you can decide what should be done. I’m also thinking that maybe he could ask why they feel how they do about you? Their must be something that would make them go from okay to not liking you. See if maybe they heard something somewhere that is causing them to react this way? Worse case scenario, you can always walk away from it. You don’t need the stress while your pregnant and if your boyfriend can’t get them to back down, is it really something you want to stick around and have to deal with?

]]> By: Angel http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/comment-page-1/#comment-6130 Angel Wed, 26 Mar 2008 21:40:54 +0000 http://www.angelashupe.com/2007/01/10/rude-in-laws/#comment-6130 Nicole: Your husband might be the problem here. Obviously your in-laws aren't going to listen, it looks like you really need him to speak up. If he doesn't understand, talk to him. Explain to him how it makes you feel. If he continues to act blind to it, it may be time to just simply set some ground rules of your own with him and his family. If they come to your house and act with any disrespect, tell them it's time for them to go home. Be stern. Their's no reason to be treated that way. And if you're in their home, you can always leave. If your husband doesn't want to go, then you can always just leave him there. :) The problem first and foremost would be the unsupportive husband. He shouldn't be allowing his family to treat you that way. Nicole:

Your husband might be the problem here. Obviously your in-laws aren’t going to listen, it looks like you really need him to speak up. If he doesn’t understand, talk to him. Explain to him how it makes you feel. If he continues to act blind to it, it may be time to just simply set some ground rules of your own with him and his family. If they come to your house and act with any disrespect, tell them it’s time for them to go home. Be stern. Their’s no reason to be treated that way. And if you’re in their home, you can always leave. If your husband doesn’t want to go, then you can always just leave him there. :) The problem first and foremost would be the unsupportive husband. He shouldn’t be allowing his family to treat you that way.

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