Two-Faced?

Hey Angel,

I have a friend and shes been getting up to something, so I went on her email at school and it looks like she wrote to my other friend saying that she hates me. No wonder she keeps getting p*ssed off and I don’t know what to do now. Should I be her friend or not? Obviously she didn’t tell me about this, I found out myself. What should I do Angel?

S.

Dear S.

I think you should confont her. Their are a couple of ways you can do this that you might consider:

1) Admit to going into her email and tell her that you saw her saying that she didn’t like you.

2) Don’t admit to reading her email, but ask her why she has been acting offhandish towards you.

3) Just stop talking to her (which is not what I would recommend).

4) Talk to the friend of yours that she emailed, asking her about it. Then confront your friend using either (1) or (2) as your approach.

The reason why I don’t recommend number (3) is because, most people need closure. If you want closure on what has gone wrong with your friendship and why she suddenly doesn’t like you, that probably isn’t the best way to go.

If you go with number (1), I can see your friend turning the whole situation around on you and claiming that you violated her privacy (which, you have - with good reason). Then I could see it not getting resolved at all, except that you would come out as the ‘bad guy’ in the situation.

Number (2) could be a hard one to do. Without giving away how you found out means you have to find a new approach. In this case, though, you can just bring up the way she has been treating you lately and ask her if something is wrong. Give her a chance to admit to you that she has been telling people that she hates you. The only problem with this is that she probably won’t tell you the truth. Quite honestly, if she hasn’t told you this by now - she doesn’t intend to. It sounds like she wants to string along your friendship for when she might need it. If that is the case, I would recommend going to number (1) as your approach so she can see she has been caught.

Then their is number (4). It isn’t guarenteed that your other friend will tell you what your other friend has said. But, it couldn’t hurt to ask. If you give that a try, and she tells you what your friend had said about you, you can use that as a part of your approach when you talk to the friend that is claiming to hate you.

To sum that all up, though, I would say no. You shouldn’t try to keep her as a friend. A friend worthwhile wouldn’t be talking down about you and saying she hates you to others. No one needs a friend like that. I’m more than sure that you can find another friend that will have respect for you and won’t talk bad about you behind your bad. Good friends still exist, I promise.