Dating Road Blocks

Theres this guy i like named Josh, and he told me that he really likes me and has for a long time. My dad told me if he ever finds out that iv gone near Josh he will kill me and Josh. What should i do? I really like Josh.

Thanks, Lily

Dear Lily,

I normally wouldn’t start out my answer with this but how old are you? From your email I gather that you’re probably young. In that case I’m going to answer your question assuming you’re under 18. If you’re 18 or older, then I would have to say that the choice is up to you because you’re a legal adult.

Now, if you are under 18, then the fact is that your dad has the right to not want you to be with this guy. I’m not saying you’re dad is in the right to say it, but because you’re still under age and in his home, unfortunately he can tell you what to do.

Obviously you don’t like his thoughts on this, but have you asked him why? I would recommend that you sit down with your father and ask him calmly what his opinion is on Josh and why he doesn’t want you to be around him. Listen to his thoughts and reasons. Then you can explain to him calmly why you like this guy and the positive traits that Josh has. You may not sway your father to change his mind, but maybe you can talk him into letting Josh come over for dinner one day so he can get to know him and maybe he’ll see why you like him and that maybe he was a little to harsh on judging Josh.

I really do emphasize on staying calm. If you get worked up and defensive, then their’s a good chance your father won’t want to listen to your reasoning because he’ll just assume you’re arguing with him. I know how it can go with parents because I’ve been there and now I’m also a mother. By listening to him, he’s more likely to hear you out about Josh.

I wish you the best of luck. I know it can be hard to sway your parents. If he doesn’t move on his opinion, I would recommend just staying friends with Josh. If the two of you still feel the same way about each other once you’re at least 18 years old, then their’s not really anything your father can do about the two of you dating anyway.