Single Parent Dating

I’d be the first to admit that dating while being a single parent is tough. I am a single parent and I am the child of divorced parents. I’ve had 3 step moms in my time and I don’t think my dad always went about it the right way. Thankfully I have been able to learn from experience so I have a good idea on how to go about it in my life as a single mom. For that reason I’d like to pass on that to you.

Do not bring your new boyfriend or girlfriend home to your children right away.

It’s pretty simple as that. With young children especially. Older children are a little more forgiving and pulling the wool over their eyes is stupid. It doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t meet the new person in your life at all. Just not right now. Make sure their’s something there before you start introducing them to each other.

Be gentle with the news.

This is especially for younger children. Tell them that so-and-so is your friend. They don’t need to know the full truth. Most importantly, don’t go making out in front of your kids. You have to pick and choose the transition for as your child feels comfortable.

Just because they are introduced as your friend doesn’t mean as things progress that person shouldn’t be further explained in the future.

Let me explain this one. If a relationship is progressing well and going well with your kids, it is okay to later explain that you’re more than friends but so-and-so will never replace their other parent. Let your children know how important to you they are and let them know that this new person in your life is someone special but is not there to be their daddy or mommy. It’s important they know this. If your children go from thinking this person is your friend to suddenly you’re marrying your friend, it can be confusing. You’ll need this in between transition before they have to get used to a step parent.

Remember to compromise.

Don’t let children control your life. Don’t let your any man or woman in your life control it either. Use your judgment. Just as your children are important, a private life - relationships and moving on from what you had with your child’s parent - is extremely important. As much as you love them you might have to tell them that mommy’s and daddy’s are allowed to go out without kids. And as much as you may care for your new significant other, you may have to remind them that your children need time with just you as well.